Instructions on what to do when you lose a Daniel
by kelinor
Summary: Answer to a Heliopolis chalenge blah-something, I can't remember exactly. - points to the title


Instructions on what to do when you lose a Daniel  
  
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Answer to Heliopolis Challenge #1907, title given above. It didn't turn out the way I wanted, so beta readers? *does chibi eyes*  
  
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"Daniel?"  
  
Jack spoke briefly into his radio, then let it go again as he squinted up into the scudding clouds, waiting for the archaeologist's reply. After a minute or so he sighed, and rolled his eyes at Teal'c and Carter, waiting by the gate expectantly.  
  
"Daniel, let's go," he repeated.  
  
After there was still no reply, Carter smiled wryly. "You'd better run down the checklist, sir," she said, shifting the bag of doohickeys in her arms. Jack gave a resigned sigh before glaring back towards the ruins.  
  
1.INSULT ARCHAEOLOGIST AND/OR THREATEN SUPPLIES OF CAFFEINE  
  
The Colonel picked up his radio.  
  
"Yo, Spacemonkey, we're leaving," he said. After no reply, he continued.  
  
"Daniel, get a move on! I'm sure those rocks aren't that interesting!"  
  
Nope, no Daniels forthcoming.  
  
"DANIEL! Get your six over here before Teal'c drinks all your coffee!"  
  
At the silence, the three remaining members of SG-1 exchanged shocked looks.  
  
"I believe that Daniel Jackson may have left his radio somewhere," rumbled Teal'c dubiously. "For he normally responds to that. Except it is usually you, O'Neill, that drinks his coffee."  
  
"Yeah, well I thought it was time for a change," shrugged Jack with an unrepentant grin. "Okay, I guess it's on to number 2."  
  
2.RETRACE STEPS TO NEAREST ANCIENT SITE.  
  
"Daniel!" Jack yelled into the tree-covered ruins. It wasn't far from the Gate, so he had left the other two to 'consolidate positions'. This involved getting out reserve candy bars and lounging on the grass - however, there was no need to include that in the briefing.... Jack swung round to the last place they had all been. Yup, big obelisk. Yup, walls covered in writing. Definite positive on the whole ancient rock thing. However, noticeably negative on presence of any Dr Daniel Jacksons. Okay....  
  
3.LOOK AROUND CORNERS IN CASE OF HIDDEN ROC – ARTEFACTS.  
  
Jack, still cradling his P90, peered around the nearby walls. This place was practically knee-high ruined stone anyway, not much chance of hiding unless you were crouching. Or sitting. Or unconscious.  
  
"For crying out loud," muttered Jack to himself.  
  
4.CHECK FOR ROCKS, HOLES, DUST OR ANYTHING SAID ARCHAEOLOGIST MIGHT  
HAVE TRIPPED ON.  
  
If Daniel had managed to injure himself _again_, Jack would not be surprised. In fact, that commonplace event would just be another to chalk up to experience. He headed back to the Gate after sending out another radio query.  
  
"No luck?" said Carter, looking up guiltily and swallowing the chocolate.  
  
"Do you see Spacemonkey behind me?"  
  
"Sorry, sir. Stupid question."  
  
"That is an unusual sentiment from you, Major Carter," commented Teal'c, hauling himself up from the floor where the two had been firmly ensconced. Sam rolled her eyes.  
  
"So what are we going to do?"  
  
"Move out, quarter the ruins. He might have twisted his ankle or something. Or hit his head on a wall. You know, normal Daniel behaviour."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"I concur, O'Neill."  
  
Jack sighed. "You take north through east quarter, Carter, Teal'c, east through south, I'll do south through west. If we don't find him, meet up by that big pointy rock and we'll discuss."  
  
"Do you mean the obelisk, Colonel?" offered Carter meekly.  
  
"It's a big pointy rock, isn't it?"  
  
There was no reply from his depleted team, despite Teal'c ever-mobile eyebrow shooting upwards.  
  
Some time later, they did, in fact, meet at the big pointy rock.  
  
"Okay," sighed Jack exasperated. "Not impressed. Lessee... what's next on the checklist?"  
  
"Tracks?" offered Carter. The three of them had long ago prepared this list; it seemed to work. And it sure as hell was used a lot....  
  
5.CHECK FOR SIGNS OF A SCUFFLE AND/OR ALIEN TRACKS  
  
"Teal'c, care to do the honours?"  
  
Teal'c inclined his head, a ghost of a smile on his face as he set off to wander the small ruins alone. Jack drummed his fingers impatiently on the handle of his gun, and Carter stared at the sky, lost in thought.  
  
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"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" yelled Jack, spinning and throwing his hands into the air. Check for quantum mirror had also proved inconclusive, as had possibility of Asgard beaming, ring transporters, invisibility... What was next? Oh yeah....  
  
141.START CONSIDERING POSSIBILITIES OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION  
  
"Did we ever work out how exactly we were going to do that?"  
  
"We never got this far down the list, Carter."  
  
"Maybe we should check back at the SGC?"  
  
"I guess... I just don't like the idea of telling the General that we have no idea how we lost him."  
  
Jack sighed for the millionth time and turned back towards the path to the Gate. Teal'c and Carter followed solemnly. As they came out of the trees towards the grassy opening in front of the Gate, Carter headed over to the DHD, and the other two walked up to the few steps.  
  
Teal'c squinted at a small object in the middle of the floor of the huge stone ring. As Sam began pressing the buttons, he suddenly shot out a hand.  
  
"Major Carter! Desist!"  
  
Sam looked up with surprise, but before she had time to answer, the Jaffa had bounded up the steps.  
  
Teal'c stooped to carefully pick up the pair of glasses. An absorbed Daniel reached absently for them, fingers scraping against the floor, and then he stopped, puzzled.  
  
Jack jogged up to stand behind the frozen Jaffa. At the sight his jaw dropped open.  
  
Daniel was leaning against the other side of the Gate ring, a thin sliver of carved stone propped against his knees, a piece of paper flapping idly in the breeze. His jacket with the radio still attached was invisible under the stack of other rock slivers. The archaeologist glanced short-sightedly up at the pair and smiled.  
  
"Hey, Teal'c, can I have my glasses back, please?" he said impatiently, holding out a hand.  
  
Jack stood there, his mouth working soundlessly. Carter came running up, concerned.  
  
"What is it – DANIEL!"  
  
As the tall Jaffa silently handed back the glasses, Daniel put them on with a thankful expression. Then he looked up at the faces of his teammates and blinked.  
  
"Hey, what did I do wrong?" 


End file.
